i miss USA

Question: What am I learning from my study abroad experience? Answer: why everybody wants to leave this fuggin continent and come to the real America. Don’t worry, I told ‘em they can’t cause Arizona is being a bitch right now. Nah nah, its been a life-changing experience living here, amazing adapting to another culture and yup, great. But seriously, shit ain’t my home.

Truth be told, this band DOM isn’t from my home either. They’re actually from Worcester, Mass. (??????????) No bother, USA represent. Plus they brought summer jams! and perfect timing, right? As we’re finishing up finals (you can do it nicky) and getting ready for the summer that, like all the others, will inevitably slip right through our fingers and on toward decay and climate change and… catheters, we need these big synth-pop singles to remind us that there’s still time to dance. Or at least you can make time by telling your boss that you’re sorry but you’re an hour out of New York with no ride and you know what you’re done wearing a fucking hat to work anyway (yeeeah New Haven 2009).

Bullshit aside, this track is a fresh slice of deep-fried fuzz-pop patriotism, with a sound big enough and lyrics catchy enough to breach the mainstream, MGMT style baby. This single also compliments Nunez’s post perfectly and I have a sneaking suspicion that this shits gonna blow up big. Before you know it, your mom’s gonna be humming, it’s so sexyyyy, to be living in america. Prob be doin a little booty shake too:

Living in America – DOM (mp3)

Djobi Djoba

Some random childhood memories. Thanks for these, Dad, and the nearly crippling OCD.

The Gypsy Kings – Djobi Djoba

Steely Dan – Peg

Bobby Caldwell – Open Your Eyes

Pink Floyd – Dogs

David Bowie – Sweet Thing

Fast forward. You’re now 50 and hassling your cracked out teenager to burn these onto a CD for you. Shit comes full circle real quick, son. Better get a nice card for Mothers/Fathers day this year, cause you’ve taken some serious years off of their lives and they molded you into the narcissistic little bastert(d) you are today, postin’ they shit up on wordpress.

Here’s a new one, from the 2k10s, for your pleasure. Savor this one.

Thieves Like Us – Forget Me Not (Cécile Small Town Girl Remix) mp3

Oh and in case you didn’t know how ground breaking this fag was.

Our Love’s Fading

Just a little runt of a post but I had to, cause this is a biggie. I Am Not A Robot by Marina & The Diamonds is an excellent pop song in its own right, but this remix by Clock Opera is something close to divine. Epic piano riffs, orchestral loops, and big steady drums build up to a reworked vocal hook (our. love’s. fading) that will either have you weeping or dancing (or both simultaneously, so i suggest you close the door before playing it). It’s already setting the bloghaus on fire, so jump on it.

I Am Not A Robot (Clock Opera Remix)

…porque también somos lo que hemos perdido

Blue Motherfucker

And no, I’m not talking about James Cameron.  I’m talking about this beast:

You know what, I’m not gonna post a picture.  Just listen, okay?  It’s a filthy concoction of vodka, gin, rum, tequila, blue shit, and regret.  It’s also the newest reason why I hate the motherfucking French.

It’s Saturday night, and all this work has got me stressed the fuck out, so I walk into New York’s Lincoln Park Bar & Grill with the same mission as every week: get shitty, find some DTF broad, and release the Kraken.  Problem is, I’m short on cash, and with a tolerance that normally comes with an AA sponsor and cirrhosis, the “get shitty” part of the night is looking unlikely.  I’ve been trying out new things to try to get around my obscenely high tolerance: straight whiskey, flasks, and skipping individual beers entirely, opting for entire pitchers at a time.  None of them have really worked, and the straight pitcher thing looks kinda trashy (even by my standards).  That’s when a friend of mine introduced me to the Blue Motherfucker.  I chugged that bad boy, and after recovering from the inevitable diabetic seizure, I realized I was drunk off my ass.  Mission Accomplished. I officially found a new weapon in the war against sobriety and good life decisions.

But on this particular Saturday night, me and my blue companion became victims of some hate speech.  Apparently, some of my friends thought my drink was “gay” because of it’s blue hue.  To think, I thought we lived in a nation where our alcoholic beverages were not judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.  I shrugged off these audacious accusations–haters gonna hate and all dat shit.  Plus, those who are lucky enough to know me know that males don’t come as alpha as me anymore.  I sweat Y chromosomes and drink the tears of the weak, and I eat bacon the right way: straight off the pig with a gun on the table.  Liam Neeson even cited me as his inspiration for his role in “Taken” (that’s a true motherfucking story right there).  But what really struck a chord with me was this French cunt sitting at our table, agreeing with these homophobic slurs.

Few problems with this.  Number one, who let a French guy sit at my table?  My rule of thumb is that any time a French person enters the same room as me, they must find me and offer their sincerest gratitude for America’s role in WWII.  I’m still waiting for my “thank you,” and don’t you dare mention the American Revolution because as far as I’m concerned, the French were only there to make sure the surrender flags were pearly white.  Number two, what does a French “man” know about masculinity?  I was already peeved that one of my lady friends was falling for his McCroissant accent, but now you’re gonna call me gay because my drink is blue?  How bout you win a war, motherfucker?  Or at the very least, shave your pussy before you wear Eurotrash jeans tight enough to show everyone your bushy camel toe.

Things at the table got a little tense when that hypocrite asked to try my drink and I replied with a blunt, “No.  I don’t share with French assholes.”  After that, details became sketchy, but I’d like to think I punched him in the face. If you were hoping for a point to this story, there isn’t one. But there is a moral: Don’t fuck with the U.S.A., or 4 different types of liquor in one bi-curious drink for that matter.

DaVinci De-Mystified [Mux Mool]

All too often artists, musicians, business men, computer gurus, math professors, journalists, scientists, the government and yes even your Dear Old Mother- hide their aptitudes by adhering to their own code of secrecy for the sake of power preservation and awe- inspiring mystification – Da Vinci burnt all the shit he thought didn’t look pretty and the recipe you got from your mother always seems to be “missing that something”… Fortunately progressives like Mr. Mool are here to spill the beans… and get no money. Mux Mool’s punchy beats remind me of Beck’s “I could give a less of a shit” attitude (soy un perdedor). Keep it up Mool- I sincerely hope you garner a big enough following to pay your water and electric bill- Cheers to you mate.

“Skulltaste” is Mux Mool’s latest album released under Ghostly International. Here is is. OR pick up the album off of beatport.com

Haven’t listened to the entire album yet but here’s my favorite so far. It’s amazing thinking of the implications of home production- it will raise the bar of music…sorry Timbo you had to abdicate sometime.

German Love Letter

{ Pollyester }

Donaeo – Riot Music ( Shy FX Mix ) aka gooey cookies

Mmmm…

Gangsta Luv

So much for that sex appeal Cudi, I’m a lil white girl and my arms look tighter than yours. Sorrrry. Simple video with some cooky cooky flare. For those who can’t forget that tree, just follow along like 1…2…3… or put it on in the background and do that awkward Cudi dance in front of your mirror. Secret though, don’t bring it to the club.

Snoop Dogg Ft Mayer Hawthorne – Gangsta Luv

If you’ve neglected the last segment of my post, you’ll be looking to redeem yourself after persisting on with those mimicked Cudi moves in an actual social situation. Seriously, lock that shit up. Put this on, get that crush and you’ll be saying “Cause I’m a gangsta, I grab her by the butt.” Just wait for the go ahead, aiight?

Kid Cudi feat. Snoop Dogg – I Do My Thing (Prod. by Dr. Dre)

Netsky Remix – Chew Lips

This Is Happening… a Month Early

This will come as a surprise to no one, but the new LCD Soundsystem album is pretty good.  The album, which James Murphy has recently almost confirmed to be the group’s last, This Is Happening, is set to release on May 18th.  The cd been floating around your favorite series of tubes for a few days now, and the video for “Drunk Girls” was released today.  If you’re a big fan of pandas and confetti, you’re in for a treat.  The album’s closer “Home” (or possibly “What You Need”.. you can never trust those damn leaks for accurate song titles) is a real standout with the typical slow build-up, nice hook, and conflicted yet optimistic lyrics that LCD has become known for.  Enjoy:

Home – LCD Soundsystem

P.S.
While YeahDev might not host the entire album for you to steal listen to a full month before it comes out, just remember:

“Knock and the door shall be opened.”
-Jesus H. Christ